{"id":103,"date":"2007-06-07T13:59:39","date_gmt":"2007-06-07T17:59:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mattfife.net\/wordpress\/?p=103"},"modified":"2013-07-02T18:20:17","modified_gmt":"2013-07-03T01:20:17","slug":"denali-jokes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mattfife.com\/?p=103","title":{"rendered":"Denali jokes"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Here&#8217;s a joke I used in Denali on the park bus ride &#8211; got a good laugh:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>The ranger gets on the bus and informs us to enjoy the park, but that we are indeed in bear country. While everything should be perfectly safe, we should take a few precautions. First, make noise while you walk so bears can hear you and get out of your way &#8211; try wearing little bells on your backpack\/etc. Secondly, if you do encounter a bear, bring pepper spray. If the bear charges you, give it a full dose in the face. Finally, watch for bear droppings. Bears are territorial, so if you see bear droppings, odds are good they&#8217;ll be back so move through the area quickly.<\/p>\n<p>A fellow camper asked how we recognize bear droppings. &#8220;Oh, that&#8217;s easy,&#8221; said the ranger, &#8220;they&#8217;re the droppings with little bells in them and smell like pepper spray.&#8221;<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Here&#8217;s a joke I used in Denali on the park bus ride &#8211; got a good laugh: The ranger gets on the bus and informs us to enjoy the park, but that we are indeed in bear country. While everything should be perfectly safe, we should take a few precautions. First, make noise while you walk so bears can hear you and get out of your way &#8211; try wearing little bells on your backpack\/etc. Secondly, if you do encounter&#8230;<\/p>\n<p class=\"read-more\"><a class=\"btn btn-default\" href=\"https:\/\/mattfife.com\/?p=103\"> Read More<span class=\"screen-reader-text\">  Read More<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-103","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blogroll"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4WECr-1F","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mattfife.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/103","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mattfife.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mattfife.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mattfife.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mattfife.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=103"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/mattfife.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/103\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1145,"href":"https:\/\/mattfife.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/103\/revisions\/1145"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mattfife.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=103"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mattfife.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=103"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mattfife.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=103"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}