{"id":356,"date":"2010-01-08T22:24:57","date_gmt":"2010-01-09T05:24:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mattfife.net\/wordpress\/?p=356"},"modified":"2012-08-13T11:40:45","modified_gmt":"2012-08-13T18:40:45","slug":"sleep-talking-mans-comments-blogged-by-wife","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mattfife.com\/?p=356","title":{"rendered":"Sleep talking man&#8217;s comments blogged by wife"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/sleeptalkinman.blogspot.com\/\" target=\"_blank\">http:\/\/sleeptalkinman.blogspot.com\/<\/a><\/p>\n<p>Produces pearls like:<br \/>\n&#8220;Elephant trunks should be used for elephant things only. Nothing else.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;It&#8217;s CHICKEN and you LIKE IT. Lentil-loving, bean burger-sh*tting wanker.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Put it down! Step away from the yam. Step away!&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;I can&#8217;t control the kittens. Too many whiskers! Too many whiskers!&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Don&#8217;t leave the duck there. It&#8217;s <em>totally<\/em> irresponsible. Put it on the swing, it&#8217;ll have much more fun.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Since when did my underwear look good on you? Take it off. Take it off your face.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;I demand compensation in cola bottles. Lots of fizzy cola bottles. In one lump sum.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Put the lobster down. Put it down!&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Robots making sweets? But they&#8217;ve got no taste buds! Metal smarties.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Oh, we&#8217;re going to be late for the pogo ballet, stop it!&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;So many spoons. You can&#8217;t have any. Cock off!&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;I&#8217;ve got a badger, a dog, a cat, and a sack. Now that I&#8217;ve got &#8217;em you can f* off. All mine.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Look. Look at my left foot. Look at my left foot. Smack you in the face!&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;It&#8217;s definitely time to get up. Yes. My dog needs a new tutu.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;I love the fact you&#8217;re a moose. Yes. So soft, so soft.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>http:\/\/sleeptalkinman.blogspot.com\/ Produces pearls like: &#8220;Elephant trunks should be used for elephant things only. Nothing else.&#8221; &#8220;It&#8217;s CHICKEN and you LIKE IT. Lentil-loving, bean burger-sh*tting wanker.&#8221; &#8220;Put it down! Step away from the yam. Step away!&#8221; &#8220;I can&#8217;t control the kittens. Too many whiskers! Too many whiskers!&#8221; &#8220;Don&#8217;t leave the duck there. It&#8217;s totally irresponsible. Put it on the swing, it&#8217;ll have much more fun.&#8221; &#8220;Since when did my underwear look good on you? Take it off. Take it off your&#8230;<\/p>\n<p class=\"read-more\"><a class=\"btn btn-default\" href=\"https:\/\/mattfife.com\/?p=356\"> Read More<span class=\"screen-reader-text\">  Read More<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-356","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-cool"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4WECr-5K","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mattfife.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/356","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mattfife.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mattfife.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mattfife.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mattfife.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=356"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/mattfife.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/356\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":633,"href":"https:\/\/mattfife.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/356\/revisions\/633"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mattfife.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=356"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mattfife.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=356"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mattfife.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=356"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}