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The Myers-Briggs personality profile test is probably one of the most widely known and used tests.  One of it’s 4 metrics is I(ntroverted) vs. E(xtroverted).  It may not come as too much of a shock that I come out very I(ntroverted).

I always saw this as meaning that introverted people didn’t enjoy being around other people but preferred to be solitary. I have recently learned that this anti-social trait is not what this metric points to at all. Instead, it simply means that one processes emotionally/mentally/spiritually what is happening to them in an internal way (internal dialog with the self vs working it out with others).  It doesn’t mean that the person is in any way anti-social. In fact, a person could be a very big people-person; yet be extremely introverted. Even more interesting is the realization that the commonly understood anti-social aspect is actually an unhealthy expression of introvertedness if one is too solitary or feels alone in their emotional/mental/spiritual work or lack good social skills.

Being afraid of others, afraid of risk in relationships, desiring to escape into controlled worlds of our own making (addictions to computer games, pornography, alcohol, and many others are good examples), afraid of socializing, or adversity to other people isn’t suppose to be what an introverted person is at all. I realized this because I recently met a very integrated and healthy introverted person in my work here at the hospital.  What surprised me about this person was that he is a very public minister of almost 20 years; yet is extremely introverted – probably more so than me. Yet, he saw that introvertedness as a tool for his work with himself, his family, and the people he met; not a hindrance. For him, understanding his own introvertedness allowed him to help others process how tragedy, joy, hope, or fear felt or worked internally on a person. He could very accurately and amazingly zero right in on what sorts of things were going on inside himself and others when they were going through all kinds of life-changing events (both good and bad) by how it was affecting the internal workings of the person (mind/emotions).

When we go through a difficult time; sometimes emotions can well up and overwhelm us for what seems to be no real reason. Other times, we have an experience that rocks our life – to the point we can’t work or eat or sleep – but we don’t know why we are in that state – or how to process or recognize the emotions that are underneath it. What this guy showed me, what healthy, integrated introverted people can bring, is how one can make sense of life events by being very attuned to the internal state(s) these events bring.  Yet are mature enough not to become slaves to those internal states. It helps them recognize when things are happening to them or others from an internal psychological/emotional/spiritual standpoint and then process through them. This is in contrast to extroverts who might have the same experiences but can only work them out in the interactions and in the context of other people. Both are equally healthy and functional ways of processing what happens in our lives.  Yet, both methods are simply the starting points of our natures.  If one simply stays in those modes (introverted people who pull into self-centeredness/away from necessary and healthy relationships with others or extroverted people who losing their personal responsibility for actions or identity by always referring it to others), it becomes unhealthy and destructive.

Which one are you? How do you processes what happens in your life? Have you really become healthy and integrated in that expression? Can you step beyond your initial tendency to embrace to the larger reality of how that is just the first step in a two-part process

I’ve been reflecting on, and becoming more aware of, probably the most missed element of Christianity – it’s communal and unitive half.  The way we REALLY achieve human/societal/global/country and community unity.

Christians (especially American Christians) see their faith in a heavily personally/individual fulfilling/transforming/relational reality.  Witness the more modern rise of the phrase: “Have you accepted Christ as your personal Lord and Savior?”.  And while this is a good question, it is only half the reality of Christianity.  We must remember that Christianity and God constantly break through our assumptions and God explodes into our lives with a reality that constantly challenges and stretches us to re-frame our understanding of God, the world, and ourselves.  If we are not experiencing this constant reframing and being challenged to accept a new depth of understanding of God, ourselves, and our roles for each other – we haven’t really begun our life of faith.  It gets called ‘dying to self’, ‘total transformation of self into the eyes of Christ’ and many others – but this is what it really means.

If our encounter with our faith isn’t like this – we aren’t really experiencing faith but something else…  But back to my point.  I’ve realized that it is really part of God’s plan that our life as Christians and our personal salvation is an inherently LINKED reality.  We are not meant to find fulfillment or salvation on our own.  That is why we have the Church – which tradition has long called her the mother or the womb from which Christians are nurtured and born.  Jesus came and set an economy of salvation into order.  While he did come down to earth in a finite form and a short span of years – and also enters our lives and hearts in a real way – he set up an economy of salvation that he desires to work through, and requires us to have families, parents, relationships, societies, churches, elders, popes, priests and prophets to help the body grow and develop.  He wants us to all be participants in his plan of salvation.  This means that if we are flying ‘solo’ in our faith life; we are missing much of what God is trying to teach us through others.

This what I’m finding in things like my CPE assignment.  We encounter the explosion of Christ into the world through the written words of the Gospel for sure, but we must also see the Christ trying to come out of each person and learn from the Christ present in what his current disciples have learned.  While imperfect, if we do not, can not, or are too stubbornly independent to rely on, share with, and learn from other Christians (and non Christians!) and have them rely on us, we will miss the very real and unitive element of Christianity that carries us beyond our own myopia of self-centered faith.  It is only when we are in relationship with the Christ in others, and they in relationship with the Christ in us, each helping that image of truth and reality become more and more whole that we can ever hope to become one mind and heart.

I always try to remember that in heaven I will live in perfect unity with all those around me that make it there too – even the ones I don’t agree with right now – and heaven is not a reality that will be some big surprise; but should be the kind of kingdom of God we are living and bringing about now.

One of the interesting reflections that has really been sitting with me is on the kind of world we live in.  I realized that up until this point, I always just looked at the world as a machine or something ‘out there’ which I’ll just have to manage in.  Now, I’m beginning to see how as my generation gets into their prime working days, we actually ARE the world.  We are the ones defining policies and setting moral standards at work, government, etc.  My individual decisions on how to live my life now set the stage for others.  If I choose to promote being a selfish b*stard, then I have just created a part of the world that way.  All those that interact with me will experience that – but if I selflessly give of myself, then a part of the world really becomes that.  You ARE now the world my children, what will you choose to do with it?  It’s a great impetus to action and responsibility.  The world is exactly what we make of it what did I help make it today?

We have a new pope – pope Benedict XVI.  What an amazing selection – Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger.  The seminarians were going nuts up here at the election.  We just got out of mass and the bells announcing the new pope started – most of us were really surprised at the speed which they elected the new pope.  We ran down to the TV room and started watching the coverage – classes were immediately canceled.  It was amazing timing today, because we had just got out of mass where 20 new deacon candidates had just signed and announced their public candidacy oaths for deaconate ordination.  Anyway, a lot of guys were going crazy (in a good way) cheering and hooting when they announced it was Ratzinger – a German cardinal who had been in the office for Catholic doctrine.  I too was very moved and joyful at this selection.  While a complete analysis is too long – here’s my general take:

He’s an excellent  successor to John Paul II.  Ratzinger was John Paul’s right-hand-man for the last 20 some years and very holy.  Many of our instructors have met, studied, or worked with him.  Expect his papacy to be very similar to John Paul’s – but I don’t know if he’ll be quite the exuberant public face/world traveler as John Paul.  On a theological front, by picking the name Benedict and from having read a number of his articles, expect his papacy to be marked by strong support for the traditional Catholic stances on topics such as the priesthood, marriage, sexuality, the mass, etc; probably more so than John Paul’s papacy. Clarification and affirmation of Catholic doctrine will probably be the place he will be most active in – since this is what his job has been for so long now. Clearly, these are generalities, and the realities will obviously have yet to unfold.   Thanks to God for sending us such a soul to help shepherd His church. He’ll be needing our prayers, and I for one know mine will be with him.

An amazing project: Postsecret.

People write a secret on a postcard, a secret they have never told anyone, and mail it to this guy who puts them on his website.  They are amazing and extremely revealing about what people are carrying around with them.  Sometimes they are happy things, but often they are secrets and problems that are really are destroying them.

One of the most amazing things of being here at the seminary (but is true of the church universal) is that we are in a ‘hospital for souls’.  I can say that I have uncovered and pulled up all kinds of things from my own past that I’d never told anyone or realized were affecting my decisions.  The worst part about mistakes, tragedies, and pain from our past is that until they find healing, we become trapped under their weight and influence.  They secretly and subtly influence our decision making and loving others.

We are not really free in our life until we have found some peace and healing with them.  As I was examining my own freedom and how my own life is going, I got exposed to theosophic prayer – which is a way of bringing Christ into our pasts and help heal those things that we still blame ourselves for or have trouble letting go of.  It is interesting that Christ is present not only today, but through all time.  He can, and is, and was present for all the things that happened in our life.  He is willing to journey to those places with us now that we are ready to receive the healing from those events of our past.  It’s been an amazing experience of growth and healing that I’m still journeying through.

It’s just fascinating that in a modern world where we deny religion and God, people still have a craving for the very things that confession provides.