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Month: June 2025

Cancer and Sorrowful Mystery #3 – The Crowning with Thorns

Cancer and Sorrowful Mystery #3 – The Crowning with Thorns

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27 Then the governor’s soldiers took Jesus into the Praetorium and gathered the whole company of soldiers around him. 28 They stripped him and put a scarlet robe on him, 29 and then twisted together a crown of thorns and set it on his head. They put a staff in his right hand. Then they knelt in front of him and mocked him. “Hail, king of the Jews!” they said. 30 They spit on him, and took the staff and struck him on the head again and again. 31 After they had mocked him, they took off the robe and put his own clothes on him. Then they led him away to crucify him.

Matthew 27:27-31

The Romans were going to have some fun with these Jewish leaders. These people are beaten and conquered. They annoy us with strange beliefs, have rebellious uprisings – and we defeat them every time. Here’s this guy claiming He is a king? Those Jewish leaders want Jesus killed – partly out of jealousy since Jesus has become popular and threatening their authority. He’s trying to declare Himself king – so lets do it for them and show these Jewish leaders what we think of their conquered kingdom. We’ll dress Him like a king. We’ll beat him, laugh at him, give him a bloody crown, and drag him around in front of them so they can think of what we think of them.

I think almost all of us have been targets of preconceived generalizations or being made the fall guy. More vicious people love to kick a man when he’s down or ‘make examples’ of others. We have almost certainly been targets of this kind of hate: boomers, millennials, because of our skin color or gender, Christians/Jews/Muslims or other religious believers, people who follow a particular political party, immigrants, white or blue collar workers, people from other countries, people who do certain jobs. Oh – you think you’re immune from bigotry towards others? I’ve met self-proclaimed ‘compassionate’ people that mocked those that died in the Titan sub implosion because they were just a bunch of rich people, or would be glad to see politician X dead – because they are ‘wrong’ and I have a right to physically attack people who are ‘wrong’. Ask what you think of people and leaders in the political party least aligned to your worldview. Is it all vitriol and hate? Do you acknowledge evil, but yet can see past sin to the child of God trying to get out? Are you sitting as judge over them?

I reflected on my attitudes towards others.

I thankfully didn’t experience any direct examples of people mocking or taking advantage of my predicament but I bet we’ve all met people that couldn’t care less if their parent, a coworker, an acquaintance, or public figure was seriously ill. Some hate others so much they can’t wait for the day – and some even tell them so. Business partners or competitors might use our weaknesses and illnesses as an opportunity. Climbing coworkers might try to squeeze you out to get ahead during your illness. Am I one of those people?

How do we treat others – especially those we disagree with politically, in our families, in our friends and coworkers, in society? Am I guilty of ‘making an example’ of someone by my daily attitudes/actions or placing stumbling blocks in other’s way? Do I help the new coworker, the homeless, widow, or stranger outside my door – or mock or spit on them? Do I harbor anger towards people of a political persuasion? It is not my job to judge. Jesus tells me it is my job simply to preach the Truth, invite always, and let God do the judging. When we judge others – we become hypocrites because we have plenty of sin in our own lives. We have the mission to go and preach to all nations – leave the judging to God.

I reflected on my close relationships.

I do regularly connected with friends and loved ones over dinners, happy hours, and phone calls for those more distant ones. I’m grateful for my family and friends – and thankful for the time they took to listen/etc. If we live a life of loving others, we collect a family of love. The more hard we are in our judgement of others, the more we simply spend time on ourselves, the smaller that family of love is.

God is trying to build a family of love with us and all those around us: family, friends, coworkers, people we meet in the street. Are we trying to be a living member? Doing our part? Spending time together?

Is there anyone I had not made amends with? Harboring old hurts? Grudges? Anger? I try to remind myself that anyone, maybe everyone, I meet during even the smallest part of the day could be someone I’m about to spend eternity with in Heaven.

21 “You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder,[a] and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ 22 But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister[b][c] will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’[d] is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell.

23 “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.

Matthew 5:21-23

There can be absolutely no evil (grudges, hate, anger, sore feelings, etc) between them and myself. Time to hit confession, reach out, and be reconciled. Time to re-evaluate those that anger me in my day and my attitudes towards them.

Lord, help me to see and correct when I put a crown of thorns on others because of hurts or disagreements. Help me root out my own bigotry and pre-conceptions of others. Instead, make me a channel and example of love and conversion for all.

Buckshot Roulette

Buckshot Roulette

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Buckshot Roulette is a great little game that’s gotten a fair amount of internet fame. I definitely enjoyed the unique vibe. Basically, it’s like playing your own version of the movie DeerHunter.

Delightful Kissboy gives us a great breakdown on how the AI works along with tips on how to maximize your odds. You can even go look at the decompiled code here if you are interested.

He also does a deep dive on why you should almost never shoot yourself, even if you think the odds favor you.

How good is your antivirus?

How good is your antivirus?

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You never know unless you actually test it against actual attacks. Fortunately you don’t have too. AV Comparatives seems to have a regularly updated report on how well the most popular antivirus programs actually do against viruses and malware.

Update: PCSecurityChannel also has a list of it’s recommendations along with videos of what they found when they tested the different solutions.

Cortical Labs biological computer

Cortical Labs biological computer

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Star Trek bio-gel packs are not science fiction anymore. Cortical Labs has built the first deployable biological computer, priced at $35,000.

Two years ago, researchers from Johns Hopkins University in Australia, together with scientists at Cortical Labs in Melbourne, suggested that the answer to real, less artificial AI was organoids – computers built with human brain cells. Fast forward to today, and Cortical Labs has turned the theory into reality with the production of the world’s first commercialized biological computer.

Live neuron cells are cultivated inside a nutrient-rich solution, supplying them with everything they need to be healthy. They grow across a silicon chip, which sends and receives electrical impulses into the neural structures.

They claim it is available for purchase and can ‘solve today’s most difficult challenges’. Lets hope it’s not another startup scam like some quantum computers have been turning out to be.

Articles:

Getting into pro racing

Getting into pro racing

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SRO Motorsports is a Twitch channel showing off semi-pro racing. What makes it all interesting is that it shows off what just a few people can do. What would have taken a huge TV crew is being done by just a few folks.

It was exceptionally fun because the 2 commentators respond to the chat questions live while narrating the race. You could ask just about anything about rules, ages, etc and they would just respond on-air. One of them even ran off between heats to grab them both some food from the on-track food carts. People in the stands watching were commenting live on chat. The racers range from 17 year olds all the way up to 40+ and they use cars that are not that different than ones you might have as a daily driver.

People asked about getting started in racing and they even answered those question (you get a driving certificate for racing via schools like Skip Barber driving school) as well as lots of interesting tidbits about rules and behinds the scenes knowledge.

Cancer and Sorrowful Mystery #2 – The Scourging at the Pillar

Cancer and Sorrowful Mystery #2 – The Scourging at the Pillar

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1 Then Pilate took Jesus and had him flogged.

John 19:1

Late in the night (possibly around midnight) while Jesus is praying in the Garden of Gethsemane, a group of guards arrive with weapons to arrest Jesus. All of Jesus disciples become afraid and ran away – even Peter who just a few hours earlier said he would rather die than betray Jesus. Jesus is dragged to the house of the high priest Caiaphas. A place that is still known today with a high degree of certainty:

In front of a Kangaroo court hastily convened in the middle of the night by His own Jewish leaders, Jesus is put on trial. They bring false witnesses and attempted to trap Him so they could put Him to death. They want to maintain both their authority over their own people and the precarious peace they have with the conquering Romans. After what is assuredly hours of grilling, they condemned Jesus when He says that the Son of Man will be seated at the right hand of the Power.

Early morning, Jesus is dragged before the local Roman governor Pilot and questioned. He’s brought out to the crowd. Exhorted by the temple officials, the crowd calls for Jesus’ death. In an attempt to calm the crowds, Pilot takes Jesus and has him beaten severely – by scourging.

What can one say? First, how alone and abandoned Jesus must have felt. Just earlier in the week, Jesus entered Jerusalem to people cheering in the streets with palms and songs. He had spent the entire previous day celebrating Passover with His beloved disciples – including the events of the Last Supper. All of them were gone. They ran away when He was arrested. Peter denied Him just hours after saying he would willingly die with Jesus. Judas literally betrays Him with a kiss. The temple officials were trying to get Jesus sentenced to death at a rigged trial in the middle of the night. Not one person came to his defense. The first lashes came from those he loved and was trying to save.

Jesus was almost certainly physically and emotionally drained. He had participated in a day full of Passover celebrations they day before. He went to the garden to pray around midnight and the other disciples fell asleep. He was arrested, dragged to court in the middle of the night, and put on trial. He’d likely been up for around 30 hours.

Now he is scourged in an attempt to appease the crowds. Historians note that not everyone even survived a Roman scourging. The beating is severe and bloody. The man who others was just days before greeted as Hosanna is now stripped and beaten with a scourge whip. These whips had multiple cords with bits of bone or metal attached. Lacerations were deep – exposing sliced flesh down to the muscle or even the bone. Victims who survived were often half-alive when this was finished. Even contemporaries like Cicero considered it the most extreme and cruel form of punishment.

—–

I knew what was coming. I drove here and there to many doctor’s appointments to get my verdict. I lost count the number of needles I had in me over the next few weeks (I hate needles). I got painful physical exams, colonoscopies, CT and MRI scans with nasty-tasting marker dye drinks, x-rays, unpleasant diets, and medications. I had very difficult conversations about survival rates and treatment options. None of this was anywhere near what Jesus was experiencing physically; but none of it was pleasant. It was a little bit of physical scourging. Despite all the supportive friends and family – you do feel alone with these verdicts. It was in those moments that I definitely felt the presence of Jesus. I talked pretty directly with him about what was going on. Reflecting on what he went through – he knew all too well what getting grim news was like.

They say you learn who your true friends are when things go wrong. Jesus was abandoned and even betrayed by his own followers when He was arrested. I was blessed to have a supportive girlfriend, coworkers, friends, family, and faith community to share the journey. I gave thanks to God for that. But there is, however, nobody that can live a possibly terminal illness diagnosis but you.

Even if the room is full of family and friends – it is you alone who is going to walk through that door to eternity.

Emotionally, I woke up every morning and sometimes my first thought was that this had just been a bad dream. Maybe now that I’m awake it would be gone – only to have reality come flooding back in.

My future plans were ripped away. Who doesn’t make plans for the coming year, our career, our relationships? In the blink of an eye, long-term plans are pulled away. I should have known better. We all know things end, but we tell ourselves that day will be a long way off. It’s a dangerous trap.

2 I will praise the Lord all my life;
    I will sing praise to my God as long as I live.
3 Do not put your trust in princes,
    in human beings, who cannot save.
4 When their spirit departs, they return to the ground;
    on that very day their plans come to nothing.

Psalm 146

When you strip away the temporary things of this life that will all be left behind when you die – you quickly realize the only thing that matters is your relationship with Jesus. You will be stripped of the trappings and the stinging truth laid bare.

1. Consider the uncertainty as to the day of your death. One day your soul will quit this body–will it be in summer or winter? in town or country? by day or by night? Will it be suddenly or with warning? Will it be owing to sickness or an accident? Will you have time to make your last confession or not? Will your confessor or spiritual father be at hand or will he not? Alas, of all these things we know absolutely nothing: all that we do know is that die we shall, and for the most part sooner than we expect.

2. Consider that then the world is at end as far as you are concerned, there will be no more of it for you, it will be altogether overthrown for you, since all pleasures, vanities, worldly joys, empty delights will be as a mere fantastic vision to you. Woe is me, for what mere trifles and unrealities I have ventured to offend my God? Then you will see that what we preferred to Him was nought. But, on the other hand, all devotion and good works will then seem so precious and so sweet:–Why did I not tread that pleasant path? Then what you thought to be little sins will look like huge mountains, and your devotion will seem but a very little thing.

3. Consider the universal farewell which your soul will take of this world. It will say farewell to riches, pleasures, and idle companions; to amusements and pastimes, to friends and neighbours, to husband, wife and child, in short to all creation. And lastly it will say farewell to its own body, which it will leave pale and cold, to become repulsive in decay.

4. Consider how the survivors will hasten to put that body away, and hide it beneath the earth–and then the world will scarce give you another thought, or remember you, any more than you have done to those already gone. “God rest his soul!” men will say, and that is all. O death, how pitiless, how hard thou art!

5. Consider that when it quits the body the soul must go at once to the right hand or the left. To which will your soul go? what side will it take? none other, be sure, than that to which it had voluntarily drawn while yet in this world.

Introduction to the Devout Life – St Francis DeSales, Pt1, ch 13

How is your daily relationship with Jesus? Are you ready to stand before Him with what you did with the gift of your life? Do you have sins that have crept into your life or have unforgiveness in any relationships? Have you forgiven even those who were happy to hurt you?

Have I grown complacent and let distraction enter my life? Have the cares/concerns/plans I am making in this world choking the Word in my life so I spend more of my day following my own plans instead of talking with and following Jesus?

34 “Be careful, or your hearts will be weighed down with carousing, drunkenness and the anxieties of life, and that day will close on you suddenly like a trap. 35 For it will come on all those who live on the face of the whole earth. 

Luke 21:34

The good news is you can turn again today. Do not wait! Jesus is an infinite ocean of mercy – but we must ask Him for forgiveness and turn again to follow Him. We must do it now – because tomorrow is not guaranteed. Do not let the day catch you like a thief in the night. Time is much shorter than we think, and when it is over there is no more time to fix wrongs or seek reconciliation.

25 “Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still together on the way, or your adversary may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. 26 Truly I tell you, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny.

Matthew 5:25-26

I spent a lot of time searching my soul with Christ and found serious gaps. I scheduled a general confession and the sacramental Anointing of the Sick. I asked for my friends and family to pray for me – and I prayed for them.

Lord Jesus, strip away from me the sins and lies I have wrapped myself in and the false comforts that have made me slow and tepid. Fill me with the Spirit of conversion so I may turn to you once again with my whole heart.