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The human condition

The human condition

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An amazing project: Postsecret.

People write a secret on a postcard, a secret they have never told anyone, and mail it to this guy who puts them on his website.  They are amazing and extremely revealing about what people are carrying around with them.  Sometimes they are happy things, but often they are secrets and problems that are really are destroying them.

One of the most amazing things of being here at the seminary (but is true of the church universal) is that we are in a ‘hospital for souls’.  I can say that I have uncovered and pulled up all kinds of things from my own past that I’d never told anyone or realized were affecting my decisions.  The worst part about mistakes, tragedies, and pain from our past is that until they find healing, we become trapped under their weight and influence.  They secretly and subtly influence our decision making and loving others.

We are not really free in our life until we have found some peace and healing with them.  As I was examining my own freedom and how my own life is going, I got exposed to theosophic prayer – which is a way of bringing Christ into our pasts and help heal those things that we still blame ourselves for or have trouble letting go of.  It is interesting that Christ is present not only today, but through all time.  He can, and is, and was present for all the things that happened in our life.  He is willing to journey to those places with us now that we are ready to receive the healing from those events of our past.  It’s been an amazing experience of growth and healing that I’m still journeying through.

It’s just fascinating that in a modern world where we deny religion and God, people still have a craving for the very things that confession provides.

Tasty squares! mmmm….

Tasty squares! mmmm….

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Ugh, this is the most addictive little game. Cool music too.

The camera seems to have sustained $180 worth of damage; but no detailed part-list or cause as of yet.  Pro Photo in Portland is having their Canon discount days this weekend.  I checked out their 10-22EFS lens and it was really great.  If you want wide-angle on the digital SLR world, this is your baby.  I was even considering selling my excellent 17-40L to buy it.

Now if I could only get the 20 page paper, and a 10 page research paper done this weekend…

Canon 300D(ead) + Oregonian

Canon 300D(ead) + Oregonian

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I had to ship my digital rebel in for repairs because it died.  I loaned it to a friend, because he was thinking of buying one; but it just stopped powering up.  No idea.  I was evaluating the Canon 20D at the time, and man oh man, that camera is really the bomb.  I have to say that it is a huge step up from the 300D, it made me really salivate, but I just couldn’t justify the cost.  Now, perhaps, the decision might be made for me.  On the fun side, it’s great when things die just outside the warranty. 🙂

I got into the Oregonian front page article on the pope’s death this last Sunday.  I interviewed with a friend of mine, Shelby Oppel Wood at the Oregonian.  I hadn’t seen her for almost 3 years; since the last article she did on me.  She’s a fun person to talk with and you can find the article here.

No Exit

No Exit

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I went and saw Jean-Paul Sartre’s existential philosophical play ‘No Exit’ at Imago Theatre.  It was really, really great.

It is a play about 3 people who are in hell; and hell consists of a room on a tilting floor.  A 17′ stage floor is suspended at one central point.  When one actor moves, the whole set tips and the other players must counteract that move to keep the floor balanced.  It’s so very cleaver a play because there is great dialog, but there is just as much communication going on through the fact actors moving around raise each other up, balance each other, or sink depending on how they are in relation to each other on the floor.  It’s only open until this weekend, but I would highly recommend it.

gMail invites

gMail invites

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There is talk of making gMail ‘officially released’ soon.  I still have 50 free gmail invites, if any of you would like to get onto the best eMail system with amazing features and now 2gb of storage while its still 100% free, let me know and I’ll send you an invite.

20Q

20Q

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Wow, what an excellent bit of coding!  One of the guys on the hilltop got one of these little gadgets as a present and it’s been traveling around the hilltop and amazing people.  It’s a new take on the 20 questions game.  This game comes as a web version, but also has a handheld version and is almost uncanny in its ability to correctly pick things even when the questions it asks seem so unlikely.

Try it and be surprised.  I was thinking about how one might code up such a tool, and had some great ideas of how to automatically generate such a device…  Makes me think of the old glory days of coding. Do I smell a personal

Spring break ends

Spring break ends

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Ugh, the end of spring break and I only got 1 paper done that I needed to do.  I still need to get at least one more done by tomorrow.  But it was a great break.

My sister came out and we went to the beach, Portland, Seattle, and snowboarding up on Mt Hood.  They had just opened Meadows for skiing the day before.  It was a late start to the season since there was such a lack of snow.  It was actually really good snowboarding – lots of powder from the night before.  Lots of fun; but now I’m realizing how old I’m getting.  Doing week-long trips of driving around and frantically seeing sights each day has really started losing it’s appeal and take a LOT more out of me.  I used to love making epic, hurried, sight-seeing road trips.  Once I did a road trip from Albuquerque, NM to Durango, CO to Arches NP in Utah, to Las Vegas, and back across Arizona to Albuquerque in one weekend trip – about 1200 miles in 2 days and 3 nights to get about 5 hours of sleep.  Went to work the next day without a lot of difficulty.  Gone are those days.  Hmmm… looks like I have reflection material here.  Perhaps after I get my paper done…

St. Michael Award

St. Michael Award

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I won one of the yearly awards from the seminary last night at our annual Appreciation dinner.  It was one of 5 awards given out; and the local Catholic paper put our picture and story in the paper.  I got the St. Michael the Arch-angel award.  This was awarded to the person who faithfully carried out an already existing activity with great fidelity, or came up with a new one that significantly contributed to the life of the community.

I won for creating and printing up a photo directory in book format – think yearbook style.  I worked with two other guys and the Abbey press to get it done; and it was the results of about 2 years of planning and picture taking.  Working with the press was extremely fun and interesting.  They have some amazing binding and printing machines that print, fold, trim, staple and scratch your back while doing it.  It’s amazing equipment.  What’s funny is that next year I will not be at the seminary (pastoral year) so someone else will have to do it. 🙂

Must get through…

Must get through…

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Here I sit at almost 9pm at night.  I have three essay questions to write and prepare, and at least 2 chapters of a book to read – all for a midterm tomorrow morning.  Next week is spring break.  If I can only…just…make…it…before…I…expire…. <gasp>

Giftedness

Giftedness

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I was just reflecting on how many people talk about their “needs” in relationships.

As I discern my own calling, I realize more and more that love is never about my needs.  I and we all have needs, but it is only Christ that could or does fills all the hopes of my heart.  My life is about how that wholeness that Christ creates in me allows me to freely give the gift of myself to others however they need me and not need anything in return.

Dante, the author of the famous books Inferno, Purgatorio, and Paradiso, was madly, and for most of his life, in love with a woman who scolded him that he needed to have full love for God before love of her.  One cannot love, enter a vocation, or marriage until one is free to live without it as well.  Real loving is a gift of self that pours out from abundance, not need or obligation.  If we do not get to love someone or something with this understanding (because circumstances prohibit it) it may hurt, but not more than just disappointment that you are not able to give yourself in that way.  Paul tells us that love never seeks itself or its own interests.  But to love in this way requires that we are totally rooted and free of ‘needing’ something from others – that all our identity is already fulfilled in following Christ.