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Legalization of marijuana

Legalization of marijuana

Despite all the predictions it was going to be a slam-dunk, California didn’t get the legalization of marijuana passed on their last ballot – and by a good margin.  Someone asked for the reason I wouldn’t vote for it if a similar bill if it came up here in Oregon and I decided to respond.  Personally, I could care less about the legalization/non-legalization of weed for the most part.  I find dedicating yourself to it’s cause seems kinda juvenile to me – but hey – to each their own.  But on to the arguments I hear most often:

Argument #1. “Everyone is smoking it – marijuana should just be legalized already”
Well, I don’t smoke marijuana. I thought it was a stupid way to blow $60+.  I got a lot more fun out of other things for the same price such as going to a concert or a great dinner out with friends. And just because everyone is smoking marijuana doesn’t mean that the practice should be legalized. Making that argument is like telling your mom that everyone else is jumping off a bridge so you’ll be joining them. This argument feels more like a peer-pressure play than making a fact based, logical decision based on empirical data.

Argument #2. “Marijuana has all kinds of medicinal uses”
To this argument, I would say you should petition to get it legally approved and regulated by the FDA as a helpful drug. I’d probably support that position. By claiming that it is a powerfully helpful drug AND safe for lifelong recreational use doesn’t seem to hold in common experience. No other substance has the precedent of being a powerful medicinal agent AND being totally safe for daily recreational use.  You could make the same arguments about alcohol; but it is also frequently cited by the legalization crowd as worse than marijuana (see next item). I find the argument that smoking marijuana is safe for lifelong recreational use and at the same time be a powerfully helpful drug to be hard to swallow without more evidence. I’d like the FDA to decide which category it should fall in.

Argument #3: “Alcohol is worse, and it’s legal!”
This bill for the legalization of marijuana doesn’t have anything to do with the legal/moral/ethical standing of alcohol (which has it’s own problems). Legalization of marijuana would not change anything about alcohol use, so the argument is kind of invalid.  Go pass a law to outlaw alcohol if you feel that strongly.  There’s nothing in this argument that shows how marijuana smoking is a benefit to our society other than kind of pointing at the neighbors (alcohol) and saying “Well, THEY’RE doing it”.
Now that I’m in my late 30’s I’ve personally seen too many of my own friend’s lives apparently affected negatively by long-term smoking. I had the experience at the place of my work that several coworkers ask what was wrong with the two guys who are regular smokers during/after meetings because they are pretty slow on the uptake and becoming more so each year. This slowness is becoming an issue for their employment. These effects might just be a correlation but behavioral and addiction medicine psychologist do see higher correlations of marital and personal problems from regular users. Just check out any of Dr. Drew’s comments about this from Loveline on the matter.
Rarely is it a good idea to escape into a substance to deal with stress or issues in your life.  It often leads to you not actually learning how to deal with them in a constructive, adult way.  The result is that years down the road you may find yourself less developed/mature than others in your age group.

Argument #4: “Isn’t it a terrible/social justice problem that so many (African-American) people are in jail because of casual use? It should not be a crime to casually smoke.”
Yes, the problem of jails full of people who have not committed any crime other than smoking joints is problematic; but it doesn’t logically follow that we should legalize something. What about speeding? Lots of people get those tickets – but we don’t legalize that. I’d support minimally criminalizing it like making it a misdemeanor with a hefty fine/ticket – but the argument of legalization is still falling short. Tickets/fines would raise money – which brings us to:

Argument #5: “Legalization and taxation will raise much needed money for California”
Almost every major study of the financial effects of proposed legalization/taxation plans show that the amounts raised would be far too small to make any significant difference to the California budget. California’s budget is in the top 10 LARGEST budget in the WORLD. Its budget is bigger than most countries. I think it’s safe to say that California’s budget problems are not caused by the non-legalization of marijuana.
I actually believe that it would end up COSTING more money to legalize (at least initially) because you’ll likely have all kinds of new legal problems. Is marijuana a drug that needs FDA testing/regulation?  If it’s a drug, then can it be grown and sold by anyone for recreational use?  Do medical plans need to cover it? What are the covered conditions? Are there new government agencies that need to be staffed to regulate growth/distribution/safety? I’ll argue there will be lawsuits from these issues that might take years and tons of money to work out.

Argument #6. “We’d all be better if we could just smoke up baby. Peace and love will surely follow for everyone!”
Reduced capacity does not solve problems. Lighting up a dried weed and inhaling chemicals into your body has not scientifically been proven as a good way to deal with problems. That argument makes as much sense as drinking fermented corn squeezings to deal with marital problems.

I could honestly care less about marijuana legalization but I find almost all the arguments in favor to be logically flawed or do not make a good case for why it SHOULD be legalized. I just don’t see how legalization really adds something valuable, beautiful, and noble to our society.

Portland’s Recent Bombing Attempt

Portland’s Recent Bombing Attempt

Recently, Mohamed Osman Mohamud, a Somali-born, 19 year-old student from Oregon State University attempted to detonate what he believed was a vehicle bomb amidst the hundreds of spectators at the annual Portland tree-lighting event.  I was only 10 or so blocks away watching from the 30th floor of the Portland City Grill.  Turns out he wasn’t working with fellow confederates, but had unwittingly been snagged by undercover FBI agents.  He fell on their radar because his own father apparently wrote to the FBI and warned them about his son’s extremist viewpoints.  Mohamed tried to contact militants in other countries, but the FBI intercepted instead.  Following his lead, the FBI supplied him with a dummy van bomb which had 5 or 6 55 gallon drums of (what he thought) were explosives.  The van was parked on the tree-lighting block and he walked (past my building) and activated the dud via cel phone right in the middle of the event.  Obviously it didn’t go off and he was immediately arrested.  Many have already called up the very likely charge of entrapment; but that will likely have to be decided in the courts.

Unfortunately, the night after the bombing, a mosque that Mohamed sporadically attended was set on fire.  Arson is highly likely based on the early evidence.  Fortunately only the office area was damaged and police are now running extra patrols around other mosques in the area.  The mosque very quickly and publicly denounced Mohamed’s actions, and there has been no evidence any radical element is present there.  So far there is no evidence that Mohamed appears to have contacted or worked with anyone from the mosque on his plans.

Unfortunately, this has revealed a general anti-religious attitude here in Portland/Oregon that I’ve run into before from what seem very well educated, self-described as open-minded, and well meaning folks.   On OPB’s Think Out Loud radio show, a comment appeared on their live blog they read from while doing the show.   The following comment was made, and struck a chord because I have heard it at a number of times at dinner parties/etc:

Religious people of all faiths are the problem. They are the cause of hatred, violence, misinformation, and ignorance throughout the world. The rest of us are dragged along in the wake of their poor behavior, we are associated with them because of the country we live in and the politicians they elect. Muslims aren’t the problem, all religions are the problem.

A number of people responded, but I liked this one best:

I disagree with your argument – not least of which is because it’s a contradiction.  You say religions are the problem, but say Muslims are not.  Do you realize what makes a person a Muslim is their identification with a religion?  Why did you assume it was his religion when his own congregation condemns his actions and he didn’t appear to get support for his plan or ideas from them?  Do you support the people that tried to burn down his Mosque because religions are to blame even though there is no proof to their involvement?

Secondly, you indicate that religions are the the cause of these problem.  It’s far too simplistic and wrong to say religion is the the sole source of this kind of brutal hatred in the world. How about the purely political and ideological killings of rebel groups in Central and South America?  Or the purely monetary murders of drug cartels in Mexico? The atrocities of the Kamier Rouge and Pol Pot, or the wholesale rape and hacking off of limbs by African militia groups?  Somolian death squads?  None of these groups are based on religious principles/backgrounds.

I agree with croyfp – it’s extremism of ANY ideology: be it political, ideological, religious, monetary, or otherwise that causes folks to feel the need to destroy those that don’t believe in what they do.  In fact, I can see a bit of this kind of hatred and anger in your response that desires to destroy something you don’t feel is right in your eyes. A true desirer of the good seeks to take what is good, and correct what is bad via reasoned argument and dialog.  An extremist says it must all be destroyed.  So where do you find yourself in your statement?

People desire to hurt others when they themselves have been hurt and not found understanding or healing; so they try to hurt others so that others have to feel the hurt and helplessness they themselves feel.  We won’t make a dent in extremists like this until they are allowed to be heard or at least given models to help guide them through their anger.

You can find the whole dialog and program here.  There were some pretty good comments.

How to get beyond the start of your career

How to get beyond the start of your career

I found this article (20 Reasons Why Musicians Get Stuck at the Local or Regional Level) to be an interesting analysis of band careers in the music industry.  But I also find that some of the advice is very good for any career.

1. Poorly-defined goals – It’s a good idea to sit down and state where you want to be in 5 years about every 6 months or so.  It doesn’t have to be earth-shattering (or it could!); but if you aren’t headed towards something – then you’re being driven by whatever current is coming your way.  Often those currents lead to stagnation, growing irrelevance – then unemployment with a huge hill of getting back on track to climb while you’re unemployed.  You should regularly be preparing yourself for the next trends/market needs and you do that in the job you have today.  Just sitting around waiting for something to happen is a recipe for nothing to happen.

2. Band members with different goals – If you’re married, it’s a *really* good idea to talk out your life and career goals with each other.  This could be touchy, but if you’re not both on the same page/understand each other – then they can’t help you and vice versa.  It’s also good to talk about where career begins/ends and the relationship takes precedence.  If you’re on very different pages (i.e. my career is my life and you’re along for the ride); then you’re likely headed for a world of pain.  Hopefully you did this before getting married – right?

3. Lack of musical focus – I started work as a generalist and thought that as long as I’m good at a number of programming technologies/languages then I’ll do well.  While somewhat true, I found the opposite is more true in reality.  People make far more money, want to be hired by more people, and are generally make a much larger impact when they have specialized in a particular technology.  Unfortunately, if you’re a generalist, you can be replaced by just about anyone.  Even if you are a great performer – there is less to recommend you when the ax must fall.  Now don’t confuse this with being inflexible – this is not that.  Instead, this means becoming an expert at a particular focus while the iron is hot; and constantly learning new things to position yourself for those hot-spots.  But get crazy good at them – if you’re just so-so, there’s a lot of other folks in that boat too.  Experts are hard to find and command great salaries and working conditions.  If you’re regularly paying attention to new hot-spots and re-adjusting your path to follow trends – then you won’t have to worry much about stagnating in a technology that’s going away.  In short, being “A jack of all trades and master of none” will get you nowhere but the bottom-feeding of your profession.

4. Ineffective artist management, or not listening to good management – strive to find people that have succeeded in your field; or managers that are known for growing their employees.  Then listen to them.  Try to model these people’s attitudes and work ethic and you’ll also do well.

5.  Poor networking skills -Are you regularly reaching out to people in your industry?  Even occasionally?  Having lunches with people from different departments or companies?  Making friends around your industry?  Going to conferences related to your field?  You don’t have to be a schmoozer or used car salesman, but you should regularly be growing your contacts or keeping up with the new things your friends/acquaintances are working on.  This is a great way to become more effective in your current job – or have links to another job if yours fails.  You can’t wait till your unemployed to do this – by then it’s too late.  You get to meet and befriend far more people while employed than when unemployed.  Trying to build a network from scratch while unemployed is a huge disadvantage – because they sort of know you’re talking to them to land a job. If you have work; then it’s all about the tech/person/connection.

6. Working with people who don’t have contacts in the industry at the next level – if you’re topped out where you’re at or with the people you work with – you are going to remain where you are.  If you want to do certain things with your career, you need to align yourself with those folks that are the gateways to those paths.  This is just good career management.  Early on, I joined groups that had many senior people that I could learn from and grow by watching – this helped me tremendously.  I got access to working on parts of major projects.  Being the biggest fish in the pond is not really a good place to be long-term; because others will come along and unseat you while you’re getting stagnant.

7. Signing with a label with inadequate funding or poor distribution – don’t join companies that are underfunded, are forcing extra hours, or have folks going without pay.  The dot-com days are OVER.  Almost nobody makes millions overnight anymore.  Yes, it can be done – but the techniques of starting a startup have changed dramatically.  They should have a working demo and customers lined up before they even secure funding and start.  If they are in money problems – the are signs that they are in real trouble. Probably 10-20% of companies in this situation will actually turn it around – most will not.  I know of one guy that’s been at 80% salary and 6 day a week situation for 2 years now; and no end in sight.  You want a company that will grow you; not one that will suck your will to live and leave you a husk with nothing left to give to a new job when they go belly-up or you quit.

8. Lack of a live following – Have you been recognized by those in your field for some contribution?  Awards and recommendations are important things to collect.  Don’t be an attention/award whore – you’ll come off like a used car salesman and everyone will see through it.  But honest awards for excellent deliveries are very important.  Yeah, you’ll need to put in 20-50% more effort; but you should be getting 1-2 of these every couple of years.  If you’re not – then you won’t have as good of resume as the next guy.

9. Dated musical style – You are keeping up with the trends in your field right?  Reading magazines, reading websites/forums on your field, etc.  If you’re a coder, you learn new languages every now and again in your spare time – or code things up in your free time as well.  Keeping up with the trends is how you stay relevant and employable.  In almost no field can you just sit around and expect to stay employed with a skill set you last developed 10 or even 5 years ago.  I make a habit of regularly looking at the jobs pages for companies in my field.  What technologies/skill sets are they looking for?  Does my resume have those?  If not, how do I get the skills those people need?  This helps you do #1 and #3 better – by spotting trends and figuring out which ones you like/want to go for.

10. Bowing to peer or family pressure not to change – Not as relevant for careers; but is a good point.   You should be growing in your field – which means change.  Don’t think that you’re ever ‘done’ at some point and can just relax and do nothing from here on out. That works for 6mo to 2 years in software, then you’re in real trouble that takes 2x the effort to get out of.  And while you’re trying to regain relevance, you’ll be at the top of the chopping list if the economy goes south.

11. Drug or alcohol issues – yep – same is bad for your career too.  It’s hard enough to keep employeed without an extra monkey on your back.  I got my first internship as a sophomore in college (this was pretty unheard of usually) because their first pick failed a drug test.  This started my career a year earlier than everyone else and I thank that guy to this day.

12.  Spouse / child obligations – you need to get it clear in your head what comes first for you – family, spouse, or career.  You WILL have to choose – and you should be upfront an honest not only with yourself – but with those in your life too.

13. Impossible to work with – This applies to both mean and nice people.  Obviously, if you’re the type of person that doesn’t mind stomping on others to get to your goals – you’re likely a person that others find hard to work with.  This is not good for a long-term career path.  Like it or not, it’s NOT just about the results.  Long-term career success is EQUALLY about helping and growing those around you.  If you’re in the habit of irking off, destroying, alienating, back-stabing, bad-mouthing, or injuring in any way the folks that helped you get to your goal, coworkers, boss, or even those that stood in your way – attitudes towards you will shift and people will not want to work with you.  In fact, folks will start subtly putting roadblocks in your path.  If you’re the kind of person that desires everyone to be successful, gives good feedback, shares success, then others will enjoy working with you and you’ll attract success.
Being impossible to work can also apply to nice people too.  If you bend over backwards so much you don’t get your own work done,  having a personal/philosophical/religious/gender, race, ecological, or other bias or agenda that is an absolute/used to beat others with, if you can’t make decisions on your own and take responsibility for them, if you demand that things be your way in order to proceed and gripe, sabotage, and stonewall if it doesn’t go your way, or a host of other ‘in-flexibilities’.  While this doesn’t mean you don’t have principles; it should mean you can negotiate with tact, style, and genuine listening and consideration for the facts.  Intel has a value called “Disagree and commit” – you state why you disagree with the direction, but you publicly commit yourself to proceeding with the majority wish without backstabbing or sabotaging.  In extreme cases if you can’t compromise your principles (such as a moral/ethical problems), you should be able to state yourself clearly, calmly, and directly to the situation and say why you can’t agree – accepting you may need to leave such an organization.
Another trap is if you’re constantly switching jobs every 6 months or you don’t stick around until projects are completed – this also starts counting against you.  Employers know it takes an investment of time and money to train someone – they expect that investment in you to pay off for them.  If they see you have a history of not sticking around – they will be unlikely to make that investment to hire you.  We’ve all had terrible jobs, but you need to at least produce some positive output from the position before you leave.  If you leave in a huff and don’t accomplish anything in the position – you’ll risk come off sounding like you might be a prima-donna when you interview for the next job.

14.  Not understanding how the industry works – You have to know how the game is played in order to move the right pieces.  This is also true of knowing how a company works.  Learn what a successful employee looks like to the company you’re working for/want to work for, when are the right times to move and not burn bridges, what the promotion criteria is, etc.  This is not being a brown-noser or sell-out – they are essential skills if you want to remain employed at a company.  It’s no different than a relationship with a significant other – you both have expectations – it’s good to make sure they match up for both you and them.  Go a step further and also learn how to spot the bad: learn to spot the little signs that projects are about to get canceled, spot ahead of time that people are about to be laid off, what happens when groups get re-orged, etc so you are out of the way if the train is about to crash.  There are almost always signs – having a good network of older workers at your company helps you spot the signs.

A story of Immigration

A story of Immigration

Here’s a published story from the past of our family tree.

We have a member of our family on my mother’s Czech side who has been doing genealogy for about the past 10 or more years on that branch of the family.  She’s done an amazing job of collecting stories, pictures, documents, all the way back, and including meeting, our current greatly-removed modern-day relatives in Czechoslovakia.  This story comes from one of the clan after they moved to Nebraska from their homeland:

“My father-in-law John Chrastil sat one evening at supper with his family in his little shanty, when they heard shots in the distance. Mrs. Chrastil cried out: “Heaven help us, the Indians are coming!” Chrastil owned a large, fierce dog, but the animal, upon hearing the shooting, began to howl and scratch on the door, trying to get inside. That only intensified the excitement, for Chrastils thought the savages were in sight.

Chrastil opened the door a bit, meaning to set the dog upon the Indians, but he ran into the house and crept under the bed. Chrastil pulled him out, the dog howled and resisted, the shooting re-commenced louder than before. Mrs. Chrastil knelt down with the children, to pray for mercy, and Chrastil wept to think they had come to America only to be killed by Indians.

Chaos reigned broken at last by the sounds of an accordion. So Chrastil gathered courage and stepped out, for he had never heard that Indians could play the accordion. He found that the pandemonium had been caused by his German neighbors, who had thus been celebrating the New Year, going from farm to farm to wish each neighbor a Happy New Year!”

Dark Materials book review (in honor of Golden Compass movie)

Dark Materials book review (in honor of Golden Compass movie)

The Golden Compass topped the box office the weekend it came out, but had lower than expected revenue. I personally expected a lot more controversy.  Before I knew the movie was coming out I had started reading the books based on the recommendation of a friend.  The Golden Compass was the first of the His Dark Materials trilogy by Philip Pullman. The second book is the Subtle Knife and the last is The Amber Spyglass. I just recently finished them all.

I almost don’t know where to start as it’s like trying to sum up the Lord of the Rings.  I didn’t know much about Pullman or his atheistic leanings before I started, so I kind of came blind into the controversy surround the author.  That was actually nice because it helped me stay more objective (I hope).

Non-spoiler summary:

Overall, I’d give the books a C+/B-. For one, I just wasn’t drawn into the characters like I did with other kids-level books such as Bridge to Terabithia, Charlie and the Chocolate factory, or the Harry Potter series.  The biggest turn-off was that I found myself disliking Lyra.  She spends a good deal of the book lying about things, yet she is continually rescued from the problems her lies cause by the other characters.  He goes so far as even rewarding and praising this behavior.

I loved the armored bears but not so much how they were treated in the book. Overall, I felt mixed about a lot of it – mostly because its mixed messages about Lyra’s behavior. Would I recommend it? I wouldn’t recommend them to kids honestly, but it is a fast read. Probably the fastest trilogy I’ve ever read. But by the last third of the last book, I was just ready to get done and move on to some other reading (namely a dual-language version of Beowulf with great commentary). I found that it did leave me with a few ideas to ponder for later; but mostly about the message he was trying to get across. Which is in the spoiler section below.

Spoilers/reflection:

First off, Lyra.  She’s a strong-willed girl who is prone to a good bit of mischief. This isn’t bad itself as I grew up around my grandfathers farm and probably did even worse at times.  There is, however, a recurrent theme of her lying about things to manipulate others and must be rescued by her friends.  Yet these friends always seem more than willing to sacrifice themselves for her lies without bothering to question the young girl’s behavior or have a good sit-down and ask her if she might want to re-think some of her behavior. Probably the most egregious example is when she lies to the king of the bears (saying she is Iorek’s daemon and promising to become his daemon if he fights Iorek).  She does this under the auspices of saving Iorek Byrinson, the armored bear who is coming to rescue her.  Lyra then apologizes to Iorek for the lying and he then calls her ‘silvertongue’ for this.

This reference caught my eye because Saint Anthony was known as the ‘silver’ tongue of truth – and his tongue is actually in-corrupt and publicly visible to this day. This is a key word for at least the Catholic community for those that speak the truth and are later vindicated. Now, Pullman clearly wants to paint Lyra as his protagonist in speaking truth against the magisterium. This is fine, but in this case Lyra is in one of the most exuberant bits of lying and manipulating the bear king. In St Anthony’s case it is the opposite behavior.  He spoke the truth even when others didn’t wish to hear it.  Yet Lyra is clearly lying but gets vindicated because the end is good.  While this king was certainly a bad fellow (poisoning the previous king, exiling Iorek, and is a general scoundrel), promoting the use of deception, lying, and manipulation of folks to get your way so long as the ends are ‘good’ certainly isn’t the best or highest ideals of truth I’d like to see kids imitate.  This is something that bothered me greatly and it happens several times in the book.  Flawed characters aren’t a problem, it’s just that when tearing down another system’s moral/ideological systems I would hope one should at least posit a heroine to be imitated or admired.  Maybe our author was implying these values aren’t important.  But even then, as a kids book I think it is a subtle distinction that young adults would need guidance to understand.

The second aspect of the book I had a hard time swallowing is how readily able and willing people are to just lay down their life for Lyra after having just met her and do not question Lyra’s behavior.  I don’t know about you, but grown men and women usually don’t usually go around following a young girl into death without so much as batting an eye to her lying and manipulation.

The biggest theme I had difficulty with was the core themes at the end.  Pullman seems to be indicating consciousness and life really comes from a cosmic ‘dust’ that is flowing around and used by our minds. God (the authority) is just a being that exists in a parallel world (one of many) and got the title of God most likely by our misdirected interpretations.  His power was mostly transferred to a lesser ‘angel’ as he got old. This angel got overly ambitious and both die in the end. There’s lots of symbolism in how he handles these themes. The mountain of God in the battle is heavily wreathed in smoke and grandeur but hides a largely inept and feeble old guy who wasn’t really God. This is basically the same pulling-back-of-the-curtain on the real wizard behind the great and powerful Oz.  I felt it was all contrived and rushed in the last book.  I mean, why would beings of another world really care about the souls of folks in another world and go so far as to imprison them for … well apparently no purpose other than to lock them up after they die.  There is just bits like this that left me scratching my head.

I also found it interesting how Pullman resolutely works within the Catholic doctrinal world by using the terminology of faith – but to give them other interpretations.  While interesting, it doesn’t actually work very well if you are well versed in the actual subject matter.  My take is that he thinks the church has some of the ideas right but got the theory wrong and he is there to set it straight.  If I had one real criticism of this whole approach it is this:  the Catholic Church doesn’t think this way.  Instead, it’s the same, tired old rehashing of a medieval, Hollywood-ized perception of Catholic teaching as oppressive and backwards.

In the end, I felt it left things a little empty/weird and simply left a lot of unexplained details.  Dust (aka the power/energy of the universe that allows the use of reason) was interpreted as sin by Lyra’s magisterium.  This implies that original thought was to be discouraged and blind obedience honored.  There’s a soul-like element in us that turns back into dust to spread around the universe again and find form in order again.  I was confused by this.  So why were the daemons so important?  We had people in the land of the dead without their daemons and bodies but were still ‘themselves’.  Yet that was the part that turned back into dust – so what were the daemons about?  How does the body/’soul without a daemon’/daemon/dust equation work out?  Dust is apparently drawn to the creative/order-giving(enthalpy)/inventors and helps them do the work of thinking and creating. Dust also seems to have a sort of consciousness of its own (like the idea from Greek philosophy that we all come from and return to the same world-fire).  We can travel between parallel worlds (e.g.  recent theories of constantly forking universes to explain quantum mechanical properties) via the subtle knife which can cut between the universes – but they won’t do that anymore because it leaks dust but to where exactly isn’t clear.

Overall, I felt left with a lot more questions than answers and that all this is a bit much for a kids book.  There are tons of philosophical, religious, and existential themes in the book; but one needs to have a lot of background on these themes to understand what he is saying.

So what do we do?  Were left with a new philosophy that says we should all think for ourselves, not accept what authority tells us (this in itself is a self-refuting argument), and have a heroin that seems to boil down to the idea that everything you do is ok as long as the results are good.  Unfortunately, history has shown again and again that the road to the gas chamber was paved with good intentions (Samuel Johnson).  Clearly we need something much more robust as that.

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One final bit/rant: There’s one thing that makes me sigh that is a major theme in this book – but is hashed and re-hashed all the time. I’m not going to be very eloquent with all this as I’m just writing from the hip right now. But the idea is that faith/the Catholic Church/religion are still depicted in as requiring blind obedience and torture for questioning what is taught. As someone who has spent 5 years reading the history of the Christianity – the actual writings of its doctrine, saints, and teachings – blind obedience was even at its earliest stages was strongly discouraged. Obedience had its place for sure, but we see that word obedience with modern connotations – not the ones that they were originally written to mean (this is true of the word freedom our founding fathers used – read the Greek/classical understanding of the word freedom they intended for an eye-opening experience).  Obedience in many of these writings means a voluntary conformity of will – a critical, fully-aware turning of self to what ones hopes is a better way of life. Much like obedience to an exercise plan that might be hard and require discipline or consequence if you skip, but is desired and believed to hold great reward for the person doing it. It was also always meant to be fully voluntary and entered into with understanding of what one is undertaking. Most of the great saints talk of their questions, doubts, and working through of issues openly in their writings (which is why their such good reading). Blind obedience and harsh punishment are simply something I never experienced while living at the seminary/monastery with the monks.

This is always sticky because there ARE elements of blind following in certain people’s individual experiences and I don’t doubt there are misguided believers that staunchly discourage or even get violent if doctrines of faith are questioned. But we call that literalism/fundamentalism – which can become a problem far any religious or philosophical system.  Unfortunately, our faith is transmitted through people – and sometimes those people don’t get it right or carry agendas of their own.

I argue (the Catholic tradition and my experiences with a life of faith backs up) that one *necessarily* must question and have doubts and struggles in their faith in order to truly believe. Guys that were blindly obedient at the seminary rarely stayed very long (I don’t think I even ran into someone that fit that category like they portray in the book). I was constantly encouraged to dig up solutions to my questions and challenge things at the seminary. Something I did all the time. My best talks on the hill were with the monks and my instructors about things that I had trouble buying into.  As an example of this criticality, the Catholic Church are supporters of the idea of evolution (also coming out many times against the much more problematic doctrines of creationism and intelligent design), they embrace scientific experimentation and thought, admitted to and apologized for the mistakes of the past (yes, it was slow coming for Galileo – but come it did), spells out the rights and dignity of the human person – affirming that each person has an inaliable right to choose their faith free of coercion, and many others. I find it helpful to think of the Church as a person. She is sometimes very stubborn, sometimes very slow to say its sorry, sometimes right well before its time – but that’s not much different than most of us (since the Church is made of us after all).

Even with that cleared up, there’s another point about holding the past over peoples heads as an excuse to write it off. I don’t go around asking my scientific friends (I have a computer *science* degree myself) how the alchemy is going, or if the blood-letting has cured their cold, or phrenology led them to the murderer, or if they’ve finished calculating the square root of 2 all the way because it’s certainly a rational number. Has the Church made mistakes in the past – you bet. Has science made mistakes in the past – you bet.   Apologize when needed, yes. Make amends where possible and take responsibility and accountability best you can. But I always remind myself that even with what we have today – we’re going to probably look as equally barbaric, stupid, and prejudiced to our future generations in 500 years too.

When faith, or science, or thought reaches out for understanding – we make mistakes because its carried out by people with imperfect knowledge, or worse, their own agendas. The true goal of faith and science is truth – something we are constantly seeking and a basic need of our human nature. They should not be (and the Church would assert that they won’t be) in conflict with each other; but should inform each other. They’ll challenge each other – you bet. Things have to get re-evaluated with every discovery (like the latest quantum mechanics that has really upset the ordered classical physics we had till this century) but we don’t go back and just discount everything some said because we get things wrong and chalk them up as blathering fools that intentionally lead everyone astray (even if partly true). It has been, and will always continue to be, a process of improvement – with plenty of mistakes along the way. So let’s just chalk up the middle ages as a bad time for everyone and get on with it. I want to live in the good I can do *today* – not constantly rehashing and ribbing each other for the mistakes of the past. There’s plenty of that on both sides.

What I wish I knew

What I wish I knew

A GREAT article. The Wisdom Journal blog had an article written by 42 year old Ron if he could have gone back and told 12 things to his 22-year-old self. The link is here, but here were some good ones (my favorite is 5, (#8 on his list))

  1. Stay in school – you’re bored now, but wait until you’re in a dead end job that you can’t stand but you’re afraid to lose.
  2. Establish the habit of living in a budget
  3. Keep insurance coverage at all times
  4. It’s quality of time at work, but quantity of time at home
  5. There is NO shortcut to wealth: Wealth is created when you provide something interesting, unique and valuable to people who demand it. Until then, you will be trading hours for dollars and you’ll always think you’re underpaid.
  6. Make sure your spouses values line up with yours -This one step can single handedly determine your level of happiness more than just about any other.
  7. Never take a job just because it pays more.

I would like to add a few I’ve learned so far:

  1. Don’t let fear run your life – this works in relationships as well as jobs/work. I left my software job to go live with Benedictine monks and study for the priesthood right as the dot-com bubble was bursting. I was told if I left, they were being forced to close all external hiring and laying off internally.  In essence, there would likely not be a way to come back. I took a deep breath, left in good standing, and didn’t regret it. Now, I didn’t do this completely unprepared. I saved up money, I made sure I could afford at least a year (I stayed for 5 years), I did a lot of prayer and research to make sure this is something I knew I needed, and financially/emotionally/spiritually could do. I knew I’d always ask ‘what if’ if I didn’t go. Now I know and I don’t regret the time spent one bit – in fact it was some of the best so far in my life.

    Marriage/relationships are all about trust and risk with another person. But you’ll never grow as a loving human being that can step out of their own desires/wants if you don’t risk stretching yourself by entering relationships at many levels. I learned this not only from dating, but working with homeless, with migrant workers, and those in ministry. Learn where your emotional hot-buttons are, where your comfort zones are, where safe and necessary boundaries are, where your gifts are – then stretch them a bit (it’ll feel like a lot!) in an environment where your boundaries will be respected, and you can get help/guidance if needed. If it all goes sour, you’ll survive – but be a better (usually a less selfish) person for it. And that is what real love is – learning how it’s not about you, but what you give of yourself in a reciprocating relationship.

    If you run around afraid to make mistakes, then you’ll never realize your dreams or aspirations.  You’ll spend all your energy in the mythical ‘future’ of what might be in your mind and heart – but it will never become reality.  Ultimately this robs us of learning who our core self really is – which is where self-actualization can happen, and when we truely become free people – free in the sense we can become fully gift to others. Prepare, research, and plan – but always try it out.

  2. Give it 6-months to a year, but not more than that – In relationships or work. If you’re constantly thinking about whether you did the right thing or not, you’ll kill yourself in the ups and downs of the moment. But also, if you don’t give yourself a goal/timetable – you’ll end up drifting into everything (this happens in relationships a LOT – how many folks do you know just dated for a long time then said, heck, lets get married cause we’ve been together this far). Give your major life decisions a year to work out or not. At the end of that time, then make your choice based on how the whole time went. If after that time frame, you’re still not sure or are uncertain about how it’s going – it is probably not going for whatever reason and time to re-evaluate things.

Seminary took me about 3-5 years to figure out if it was clicking since it was such a radical change. But I had a hard time limit – so put a time on your decision making.

Englightening

Englightening

This is a graph of the ‘majority’ faith of each county in the US as of 2000.  According to the chart, a ‘majority’ religion can claim more than 50% of the county’s population.  I didn’t realize how Catholic most of the country is.  I’m also surprised there aren’t more gray counties where it’s split between 3 or nobody has a ‘majority’.

I happen to know the Oregon numbers seem strange.  The local paper listed Catholics as only 35% of the general population (statewide).  Yet it is still the largest denominational church attended in Oregon by a wide margin.  Why?  Because more than 50% of the population don’t profess to belong to any denominational faith.  Hence  I was expect more grey squares.

I think a lot of folks (especially the average person in the pew) do not realize how powerful and how much they can influence things in our country.  With voter turnout averaging less than 50% in a good number of elections, 50% of the country isn’t being represented.  So in essence, each person that is voting is getting 2 votes (one for the guy that didn’t vote).  Seen in that light, it’s no wonder our president and our congress have such amazingly low approval ratings (you did know congress has a lower approval rating than Bush right?)

Are we in a spiral?  We’re dissatisfied with our public leaders so we don’t think our vote will matter – so we vote less.  This makes our public leaders elected by fewer, more active/vocal voters who likely do not represent us or our values well. Wash, rinse, repeat?

Yet the cure is very simple – get out there and vote.  Participate in the process, and it will start reflecting you.

Iraqi quote

Iraqi quote

I was listening to NPR (I believe), and they were interviewing an Iraqi refugee who’d been a translator for American troops. The troops appreciated him so much they made sure he was brought stateside to avoid the inevitable death he would have suffered by remaining in Iraq from being known to have helped the Americans. When asked why he risked his own life and family’s life to help the Americans (since he was a well educated, bilingual, successful businessman), he said basically that “We (Iraqis) who are well-educated have a duty to our fellow countrymen. It was my responsibility to do what I could to help improve my country” – and he saw that working with the Americans to bring basic necessities of food, infrastructure and security to his countrymen as the best way to do that.

This one powerful quote really captured a lot. Do those of us that are more well off, more educated, more disposable time/income/talent see ourselves as having a duty to share that and improve the lives of our fellow man? This guy was also so unattached to the idea of ‘patriotism’ that he could really look through the fact his country was defeated, in shambles, and use whatever gifts he had to act towards the real good of his fellow countryman. What would we do if a mid-east country took over the US? Would we have seen it that way if the roles were reversed? I think this is the difference between good patriotism and bad/hijacked patriotism.

This all came up for me as I’ve been pondering a lot of the disasters happening: New Orleans, the mortgage collapse, California wildfires, etc. There’s a big part of me that has been frustrated by the lack of listening to warnings and not using one’s head to realize you’re living in a notorious fire break, that you’re living below sea level, or not doing enough homework to know you’re getting into risky financial dealings. I found myself shrugging a lot and asking why these folks, who took on added risk, didn’t realize it requires one to mitigate that risk with more expensive preparations (insurance) or the knowledge and acceptance it might go sour and you’ll be left holding the bag. Why all this complaining about the federal government not fixing things when there is a good deal of personal responsibility to be accounted for as well?

But there is a flip side. As this Iraqi saw, one should take a real step back (and a major step out of oneself) and think along the lines that everyone in my house, my neighborhood, my commute to work, my city, my country – are one large family – and some of us are given the intelligence to see and manage things better. Just as some of us have the gifts of being doctors/nurses and healing, others to grow crops, etc. These individual things aren’t to be overly proud or self-serving with – but to recognize that our human family as a whole needs all these elements working together to work at all. Yes, some of these abilities and gifts require a lot more work/effort to develop and perform in a much more visible/lucrative way in our current socio-economic structure – but when it comes to looking around again and thinking ‘family’ – well, I’ll argue that starts making things look different. It goes beyond just mere humanitarianism, or patriotism, or the like. Instead, I’d argue that patriotism, humanitarianism, and other efforts flow from *that* core value of knowing we’re in a family.  And as a Christian, a certain view and value of each human person. That looks a lot more like the Iraqi – using the gifts of financial planning, foresight, and put our education/skills to the use of helping others that are not given that gift. This does not necessarily mean bailing folks out wholesale from dumb choices (I’d argue that it doesn’t actually help to always bail people out), but maybe it means putting up the structures or helping educate. It might mean giving financial advice and counseling to others that might not have that education.

And the core of all this requires a relationship with folks. Especially relationships with folks that need it – who (I’ve found) aren’t the folks that are normally in our social and friendship circles. This requires working on something called ‘community’ which is nothing other than building relationships of whatever levels with each other. And that requires putting ourselves into places and with people we normally wouldn’t spend time with to learn what it is they are, or have been, (or working with to help them see what they can) contributing all along. Which is my next sticking point. It seems we are increasingly becoming isolated in our relationships – and more and more rarely interact with folks way outside our own circles. And it makes sense; I know how hard it is to reach across that divide and struggle with misunderstanding or differences. For all technologies’ advancements in sharing communication – I see us becoming increasingly isolationist. My observation is that people in public places don’t talk to each other; they text their circle of friends on a cel phone or play a purely individual handheld game. I find this an extremely worrying trend. Without relationships with others – a constant flow of new and different relationships – it’s very easy to start seeing others, or classes, or groups, not as people who have something important to contribute to the whole family – but as pointless or even obstacles or hindrances to what we want. Ever felt that?

Marriage…mawwage is what bwings us here towday…

Marriage…mawwage is what bwings us here towday…

Visiting priest took the masses for this weekend at the Cathedral. Had a different style, but I loved the bit he did on marriage. I’m paraphrasing a bit, but he captured a lot of what goes on in our own minds/homes….

And marriage is hard too – it’s a lot of work. At some point we say, “Someone’s got to make the decisions. Someone needs to be in charge! Someone’s got to take initiative around here!” And then we do until we forget the other person. Christ is with each one of us all the time – and loves the something truly unique in us just as what is He loves the particular uniqueness of each other person in the world. Each one of us differently and in our differences. But *we* often forget to stop and see what it is Christ sees in them, just as he sees something beautiful in us. We get all wrapped up in what needs to be done, or what we want, and forget to take the time to discover and love that expression of Christ in our spouse. And then we forget to forgive them as Christ forgives and loves us.  And we forget to offer forgiveness and support as we want that forgiveness and support from God. It’s all too easy.

This is how I’ve felt about marriage for a long time. I feel bad for folks that just wander into marriage – even more worried for those that don’t have a real Christian understanding of marriage (that includes a lot of Christians too by the way). Marriage is the monastery in which one joyfully/willingly enters to die to themselves. It’s the relationship in which you realize the Christian ideal that life isn’t about you any more. Hopefully, you see this before you decide to say “I do” and enter into that understanding/living willingly. Hopefully too, you find someone else to give that too that feels the same way! Sadly, even in the Christian community, most probably do not. To the Christian, marriage is the place  and time and maturity where they are ready to stop living for/about themselves and can die to self in the ‘safe place’ of reciprocating love of another. This isn’t about being a floor-mat for another person – it’s about finding another that wishes the same thing for you. It requires two mature adults that have their stuff together. They need to be able to maturely call “schenanigans” on each others behavior when it’s selfish, they need to be able to challenge and support each other as equals. One can’t do this if they don’t have their own issues worked out. If both of you are looking out for the two of you, then the other, then themselves (in that order) you’ll find the real tranformative power of marriage.

That’s why having kids is so intimately linked to marriage for the Christian. If there was ever anything that teaches you life isn’t about what you want anymore, it’s having kids. Children are an extension and expansion of this self-giving. If one isn’t mature enough to be married, one is likely not mature enough to have kids – and vice versa. Yes, parenthood is often thrust on people due to poor choices, but the folks I know in those situations said they sure grew up a lot as soon as their kid was born. Often via a painful moment of ‘Come to Jesus’/realization about the way their lives are now going to go – very differently than they expected. So, hopefully, marriage is the place where children are welcomed into the world witnessing/seeing this kind of self-giving love between their parents.

Two interesting thoughts from recent discussions

Two interesting thoughts from recent discussions

Thoughts from recent talks with friends/coworkers:

  1. If we went to government funded healthcare, it would likely have an impact on lawsuit cases. Instead of the astronomical lawsuits for injury claims, it is likely one could no longer sue for hundreds of millions for their medial care – since that care would be ‘freely’ available. Now, they could probably still sue for loss of limbs/ability to work/anguish/etc. They might also still be able to sue for special care needed for rehab or the like – depending on where govt care ended… But the burden of payment on these injuries would shift to the government (us) where it might be much more reasonably paid for (discounted rates) and half of it wouldn’t go to the lawyers.
  2. Having the tight urban growth boundary around Portland that we do (a line around the city where nobody can build houses outside of) has arguably kept it from experiencing a lot of the recent mortgage collapse pain or falling prices. The price of housing is a local phenomenon – primarily dictacted by demand, incomes, and availability. An urban growth boundary has kept availability lower than other places (no urban sprawl), and even if demand or average area income drops, the boundary keeps availability tighter and helps cushion any downturns.