My humble website rarely gets more than a hundred or so visitors a day, but I recently posted a Defcon talk video link and summary about the impending quantum computing security crisis. Just summarizing and linking to the video had an immediate and shocking effect. My site got overrun with thousands of hits overnight:
And where were all those people coming from?
Interesting.
The Vatican has released the doctrinal note Una Caro: In Praise of Monogamy (Italian only so far, you can use google translate for now) to give guidance are re-enforce on already existing teaching on the subject of marriage.
You can find a great summary of it’s main points here.
In a world that is rapidly and constantly changing definitions about the nature of relationships as well as basic definitions of human biology, this is an excellent document to read if you want to know the beauty our physical bodies and relationships have always been understood as: gifts, signs, and multi-layered bonds of unity that mirror the love Christ has for the Church – his bride.
Give it a read as we await our bride groom who comes in just a few short weeks at Christmas – born in a barn, placed in a feed trough, and united with for us in our humble humanity.
“[…] pop culture holds a disdain for history. Pop culture is all about identity and feeling like you’re participating. It has nothing to do with cooperation, the past or the future—it’s living in the present. I think the same is true of most people who write code for money. They have no idea where [their culture came from]—and the Internet was done so well that most people think of it as a natural resource like the Pacific Ocean, rather than something that was man-made.
—Alan Kay, on Computing, Dr. Dobb’s Interview with Alan Kay 2012
What did you do when you saw/heard this story in the news about the CEO and the head of HR at Astronomy?
Now ask yourself: Who would that have made you in the crowd during Jesus’ time?
8 But Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. 2 Early in the morning He came again into the temple, and all the people were coming to Him; and He sat down and began to teach them. 3 The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman caught in adultery, and having set her in the center of the court, 4 they said to Him, “Teacher, this woman has been caught in adultery, in the very act.
5 Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women; what then do You say?”
6 They were saying this, testing Him, so that they might have grounds for accusing Him. But Jesus stooped down and with His finger wrote on the ground. 7 But when they persisted in asking Him, He straightened up, and said to them, “He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8 Again He stooped down and wrote on the ground.
9 When they heard it, they began to go out one by one, beginning with the older ones, and He was left alone, and the woman, where she was, in the center of the court. 10 Straightening up, Jesus said to her, “Woman, where are they? Did no one condemn you?” 11 She said, “No one, Lord.”
And Jesus said, “I do not condemn you, either. Go. From now on sin no more.”
John 8:1-11
5Now this is what the Lord Almighty says:
“Give careful thought to your ways!
6 You have sown much, but have brought in little;
you have eaten, but have not been satisfied;
You have drunk, but have not been exhilarated;
have clothed yourselves, but not been warmed;
And whoever earned wages
earned them for a bag with holes in it.”9 “You expected much,
Haggai 1:5-6
but see, it turned out to be little.
What you brought home, I blew away.
Why?” declares the Lord Almighty.
“Because of my house, which remains a ruin,
while each of you is busy with your own house.”
This daily mass reading from Thursday really spoke to me about one of the biggest paradoxes, and cures, to our modern world. One of the great truths of our lives is that no matter how much we obtain, we are never happy for long. A remodeled kitchen. A fancy new car/SUV. New toys and gadgets. A bigger house. A new job with more authority and prestige. Even having children or getting married to your dream spouse.
We can achieve great things – and people in the past have literally conquered the world – but does it actually make us happy?
And when Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept, for there were no more worlds to conquer
Alexander the Great after conquering the entire known world
The sad fact is that many wealthy, and increasingly, and even ordinary people are anything but happy. We have more convivences, medical care, and technology than any time in history. I worked with very successful people at the world’s most powerful companies – yet I have visited religious that have renounced all possessions and poor people in 3rd world countries that are much more full of joy. Even though they make in a year what many Americans make in a week.
This is what God is trying to tell people in this reading. We haven’t got our lives or prioritized right. God tells us if we turn away from self-directed happiness and attend to that of his Kingdom – it draws us all together and into a right relationship with Himself and with each other. We live in Truth and love for each other instead of just pursuing our own desires and agendas.
But more than just, my prayer time after mass made me realize how much I have been doing, but not listening. Even when we’re doing good things and helping others, if we are not listening to what God has for us personally, we are still just doing what we want. Even doing amazing amounts of good things can leave us unhappy and unfulfilled. Because what brings us happiness is not even those good works. It’s a daily, working relationship with God.
I recently read about a US chaplain that was killed in the Middle East by a roadside bomb. He was constantly visiting troops in the field despite the dangers. His quote when asked about being in harms way but knowing God placed Him there stuck with me:
“There is no safer place than to be in God’s will”
This doesn’t mean life will be easy or without trials or even death. But when we know we are united daily with God and lovingly doing what he calls us to do – I can attest that there there is no greater peace and joy in your heart. Even if there is fear. But just like the Israelites (and myself) – it is easy to be distracted with daily tasks and not actually listen for God’s will nor stay connect every day with the love of your life: God.
So let us take a little time today to stop running around mindlessly doing all the things we think we need to get done. Use Sunday as it should be used. Do not just pray at God, but listen to God. Today, I say, “Here I am God – I come to do your will” and be silent. Sit with the love, truth, and peace that is God – and you will indeed find that true peace and happiness for which you search.
Ed Tom: You got a dog in this hunt?
Sheriff Bell: Not really. A couple of kids from my county that might be sort of involved that ought not to be.
Ed Tom: Sort of involved
Sheriff Bell: Yeah
Ed Tom: Are we talkin kin?
Sheriff Bell: No. Just people from my county. People I’m supposed to be lookin after.
I was recently listening to the audiobook No Country for Old Men by Cormac McCarthy and this line hit me.
In this part of the story, Sheriff Bell is following the trail of bodies left behind by killers on the search for Llewelyn Moss who is a blue collar local that stumbled across the aftermath of a drug deal gone awry. He ended up with a satchel of money and is on the run from the drug dealers and psychopathic killer Chigurh trying to get the money back.
Bell is concerned about Llewelyn and trying to genuinely help him – going the extra mile to keep following the case even though it’s far beyond his jurisdiction. Bell often narrates parts of the story and talks about how he comes from a long line of law enforcement officers in the hard desert country. He talks about they saw themselves as entrusted with the care of the communities they lived and worked in – and the hardships, death, and confusing levels of evil they often faced.
The last part of that quote was something that hit me as to the heart of a Catholic priest. A priest is entrusted with all the souls assigned to his parish boundaries – believers and non-believers alike. I think Sheriff Bell has exactly that kind of concern – a shepherd for all the people in his care. Whether they want it or not.
Do we see our jobs, and those we interact with or work with as coworkers, as in our care as well? Do we have the heart of a shepherd with our children and those we serve? Do we act in ways that demonstrates the truth, love, and compassion that Jesus had for those he interacted with while in our jobs and families? All too often, jobs are seen as just ways to make lots of money, gain power and fame, get accolades and attention, or climb to the top and lord it over others.
This is not what we are called to be as Christians. The call of the world is to become the center of attention – in charge of things, in command, taking power and making lots of money.
Instead, we must turn into servant leadership. We are to become less, so others may become more. We become less, so Christ may carry us unweighted with earthly attachments to heaven. We become less, so God can act more. But we must get ourselves and our egos out of the way. What we are called to can be found in the Litany of Humility:
O Jesus! meek and humble of heart, Hear me.
From the desire of being esteemed, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being loved, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being extolled, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being honored, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being praised, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being preferred to others, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being consulted, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being approved, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of being humiliated, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of being despised, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of suffering rebukes, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of being calumniated, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of being forgotten, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of being ridiculed, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of being wronged, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of being suspected, Deliver me, Jesus.
That others may be loved more than I, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be esteemed more than I, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That, in the opinion of the world, others may increase and I may decrease, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be chosen and I set aside, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be praised and I unnoticed, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be preferred to me in everything, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
Have things really changed? The dot-com/internet boom of 25 years ago (yes, it was 25 years ago now) was supposed to change everything. It has, but is it better?
I was recently reminded of this 1999 Superbowl ad from Monster.com. Things have definitely changed. More job opportunities are available and more easily searched, but during the tech downturn now we’re also seeing people applying to literally hundreds of jobs with no luck. People want work that is more meaningful, but the ugly realities of ‘bringing your whole self‘ to work and toxic startup-culture has shown to be problematic.
I think it’s worth looking at what the dot com and internet era started out to do and be honest about what we improved, and what we absolutely made worse. Sounds like a good reflection topic.
A powerful true story about a priest who largely pursued his own desires and agendas. He survives a near death automobile accident to later have an experience of what his particular judgement would have been – and he was condemned to Hell.
It wasn’t because he had some big unconfessed sins or scandalous life. He even went to confession but admits he didn’t really commit himself to real conversion. The real reason he was condemned is because he pursued his own happiness/agendas. He simply served himself before his vow to serve God. Instead of conversion, he simply planned on making excuses for not trying harder to serve God. As he discovered, when standing in God’s blinding truth, excuses do not stand.
An amazing homily by Pope Leo XIV that describes just how radically different the interior life of a follower of Christ is from what the world teaches and perceives. Here’s some of the best bits, but the whole thing is worth listening too.
Our age is one of unprecedented sensitivity and unrelenting outrage. In the cultural moment we inhabit, to be offended is almost a virtue – a badge of honor. To express outrage is to signal moral clarity.
Saints did not seek vengeance, they did not get offended by the failures of others – because their lives were rooted in a different center. Their identity is not fragile because it is grounded not in ego, but in God. We are rooted in a deeper truth than the changing winds of human opinion and behavior.
It’s not indifference nor is it repression. It is not being numb or passive or weak. It is not merely psychological or about managing emotions or applying therapeutic strategies.
There is something almost otherworldly about a soul that has mastered the inner alchemy of turning offenses into peace. It is sanctity and nothing less than the imitation of Christ. It is the transformation of the soul so radical that only the grace of God can bring it to completion. We have been so thoroughly transformed by love that even offenses can become opportunities for communion.
35 When they had crucified him, they divided up his clothes by casting lots. 36 And sitting down, they kept watch over him there. 37 Above his head they placed the written charge against him: This is Jesus, the king of the Jews.
38 Two rebels were crucified with him, one on his right and one on his left. 39 Those who passed by hurled insults at him, shaking their heads 40 and saying, “You who are going to destroy the temple and build it in three days, save yourself! Come down from the cross, if you are the Son of God!” 41 In the same way the chief priests, the teachers of the law and the elders mocked him. 42 “He saved others,” they said, “but he can’t save himself! He’s the king of Israel! Let him come down now from the cross, and we will believe in him. 43 He trusts in God. Let God rescue him now if he wants him, for he said, ‘I am the Son of God.’” 44 In the same way the rebels who were crucified with him also heaped insults on him.
45 From noon until three in the afternoon darkness came over all the land. 46 About three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” (which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”).
50 And when Jesus had cried out again in a loud voice, he gave up his spirit.
Matthew 27:35-45
39 One of the criminals who hung there hurled insults at him: “Aren’t you the Messiah? Save yourself and us!”
40 But the other criminal rebuked him. “Don’t you fear God,” he said, “since you are under the same sentence? 41 We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong.”
42 Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.”
43 Jesus answered him, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.”
46 Jesus called out with a loud voice, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.” When he had said this, he breathed his last.
Luke 23:39-45
If there is one thing I have learned – it is that God doesn’t act the way we expect. We struggle and wait for prayers to be answered. Sometimes for years or even decades. Sometimes things get much worse the harder we pray and try. We wander through dark nights with no comfort.
2 Have mercy on me, Lord, for I am faint;
heal me, Lord, for my bones are in agony.
3 My soul is in deep anguish.
How long, Lord, how long?4 Turn, Lord, and deliver me;
save me because of your unfailing love.
5 Among the dead no one proclaims your name.
Who praises you from the grave?6 I am worn out from my groaning.
All night long I flood my bed with weeping
Psalm 6
and drench my couch with tears.
7 My eyes grow weak with sorrow;
they fail because of all my foes.
Many people will simply say they are turned off by organized religion. Some don’t see the value at all and just live as they like. Others like to say they are “spiritual but not religious’. Some like to point out that organized religions have scandals and are full of hypocrites. Wars have been carried out in the name of religions.
Like the mocking thief on the cross, some become angry because God doesn’t act the way we want or expect. Others dismiss God as too cruel. ‘I can’t believe in a God that lets people suffer or die. Why would a supposedly loving God do and allow all these things?’ Others mock and scoff people who follow God as repressed, brainwashed fools.
I cannot claim to have the answer for the mysteries of suffering. What I can say is that, believer or not, we all go through both good and difficult things in our lives. What we can do is share them with God and they can help transform ourselves and the world. In our everyday understanding, it is success that brings change into the world. Instead, God shows His power in that He can take what appears to be abject failure by all standards – and use it to completely change the world. Jesus died this way – abandoned and condemned to a shameful death. We can mock God in our struggles and gain nothing like the scoffing thief. Or we can ask Jesus into (even our own self-caused) tragedies and bring transformation and eternal good from them – if we just ask like the good thief on the cross.
This isn’t just academic. We have in Jesus someone that knows exactly what we’re going through. Before He was even born, His parents experienced an unwed, unplanned pregnancy. As a child, they had to flee for their lives and they lived as political refugees in Egypt. Joseph likely struggled trying to make a living as a refugee in a foreign land. They came from a poor, backward hick region of Israel held in low regard. Their country was conquered and under a brutal military dictatorship. Joseph was very likely a simple blue-collar worker with little education. Jesus public ministry was one of long days, low/no pay, rejection, sleeping wherever He was offered, and had no possessions other than what He carried. He likely slept outside on cold nights, went hungry and thirsty, and was exhausted by hot desert days. He barely escaped being killed in His own home town when He insulted them. His friends misunderstood and even betrayed and abandoned Him. He was rejected by the thought leaders and those in political and religious power. He was falsely accused, arrested, and sentenced to death under an invading military force. He was made a pawn in power games between the Jews and Romans.
Jesus knew what it meant to struggle. Almost every follower of God did. Abraham, Moses, Elisha, David. The world doesn’t understand because we misunderstand what true peace and eternal happiness really is.
The kind of peace and freedom that is the Kingdom of God doesn’t depend on what we are going through, how rich we are, how many people like or follow us on social media, or having the perfect family. It doesn’t depend on the madness or rejection of the world we find ourselves in. It’s an eternal peace in which our hearts rest in eternal love that is God. A peace this world cannot give – because nothing in this world is permanent.
This is just a part of the mystery of suffering.
Like the men crucified with Jesus, we can blame God and miss salvation right beside us. Or, we can humbly admit the truth in our lives, turn and ask Him to be with us as His friend, and find ourselves invited to eternal paradise.
——–
It was about 1 month to the day that I got the surgery results back from the labs. The prognosis came early afternoon via a phone call I almost didn’t take because the number was unfamiliar. It was my surgeon. They biopsies showed clear margins and the lymph nodes were clear – indicating there was no spread. There was no more need for treatment. No chemo. No radiation. He said that he only had 2-3 cases like mine – it was something of a miracle for as long as the tumors had likely been there.
We scheduled a follow up and hung up.
I cried.
I gave thanks to God for answered prayers. I remembered the story of the 10 lepers:
11 Now on his way to Jerusalem, Jesus traveled along the border between Samaria and Galilee. 12 As he was going into a village, ten men who had leprosy[a] met him. They stood at a distance 13 and called out in a loud voice, “Jesus, Master, have pity on us!”
14 When he saw them, he said, “Go, show yourselves to the priests.” And as they went, they were cleansed.
15 One of them, when he saw he was healed, came back, praising God in a loud voice. 16 He threw himself at Jesus’ feet and thanked him—and he was a Samaritan.
17 Jesus asked, “Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine? 18 Has no one returned to give praise to God except this foreigner?” 19 Then he said to him, “Rise and go; your faith has made you well.”
Luke 17:11-19
I vowed the first decade of the rosary I prayed each day, I would recall and give thanks for the healing I had just received. I have done so ever since.
This day you have died, live as a new man
Marcus Aurelius
As I did this and continued to give thanks, I journeyed deeper in prayer – prayer that was based on the question, What’s next? How do I take advantage of these gift of a second chance. How was all this supposed to transform me or others?
I got some powerful challenges and some painful admonitions; I am still trying to sort them out. I have made concrete changes in my life and am re-evaluating where I am going for whatever time I have left. The cancer may return any time, but I believe there is still a lot more to this story and I am excited. I’m starting by re-doubling my efforts to walk each day with God and let Him run the show. My life ended that day. Time to live again in Christ.
To all this, cancer was a gift.
It was probably the best gift I have been given in the last 10 years. I realize it likely cut out years and years of laziness, floating through life in frivolous pursuits, and prideful self-indulgence. Now I have the opportunity to change course and again invite Christ into my soul every day. No matter how many more I get.
Every time I pray the rosary – this is just a little of what it means.