So now, less than five years later, you can go up on a steep hill in Las Vegas and look West, and with the right kind of eyes you can almost see the high-water mark—that place where the wave finally broke and rolled back

Hunter S Thompson 1971

Hunter S Thompson became a figure of a generation with gonzo journalism and cemented himself as an early icon of drug fueled antics. He wrote about the world of the late 60’s through 90’s with his unique lens that saw past the veneer and comedically revealed the absurdity of modern culture by his wild antics and fantastic writing.

He is famous for his mantra, “Buy the ticket, take the ride” which meant to fully commit to an experience or path once you’ve started, even if it gets intense or goes off the rails. The inherent risks and unpredictable outcomes are part of the journey for growth and having intense experiences.

Many, including Johnny Knoxville, got a lot their own motivation from him and here reflects his impressions of Hunter before took his own life. I think he nails it when he says, ““The persona he backed himself up into […] it cost him.”

I found some of the viewer comments to be powerful and true. Here’s a particularly great one:

I was obsessed with Hunter S. Thompson when I was in my late teens, early 20s. Eventually, I reached an age where I continued to appreciate his contributions to literature, but started to realize that it was a mistake to revere him as some sort of hero. When he took his own life, that only cemented the position. I think it was his sheer talent that papered over the fact that his ‘buy the ticket, take the ride’ philosophy is an utterly selfish and broken way to go about life.

But this is what we do… we mistake eloquence for truth and wrongly convince ourselves that there’s a pot of gold at the end of that rainbow. And for the author himself, what kind of mindfuck must it be when, seemingly, the whole world celebrates and mythologizes your most destructive instincts? You’ve got guys like Johnny Depp, John Cusack, and Sean Penn worshipping you like a guru… I mean, how are you supposed to get off that treadmill?

You wonder if their romanticized view of him, as well as his philosophy, stood in the way of actually getting him help.

@tommy2159

I think this user, and Knoxville, see the truth. Living just for wild experiences is something many of us do in our 20’s. But it runs out. I have done and seen a crazy amount of interesting things in my time. I used to seek out lots of unique experiences and activities. But eloquence and excitement are not necessarily truth. Instead, as I have learned over the years, real truth shows itself in the outcomes and results: and the result most associated with truth? Peace. Especially a deep, abiding peace within yourself.

All of this made me think about a pattern I see happening in the software industry in 2024-2025. Amazon, Microsoft, Google, and countless game/web companies have all had big layoffs and I’ve witnessed many professional friends get hit. After an amazing 20 year career, Intel has laid off a great number of people that absolutely defined computing in the 90’s and 2000’s.

Many people that are laid off often experience shock, then anger or sadness, and then fear about the future. What’s interesting is that both laid off people, and people who retire, also report feeling another thing: the loss of identity or sense of purpose. It paralyzes some to the point they are left in confusion, stuck in the past, stuck with anger, or unable to move on.

Johnny Knoxville thinks Hunter S Thompson made himself a persona. Many rock stars and movie stars make themselves a persona. But they’re not the only ones. Many professionals make themselves a persona – often referred to as your ‘personal branding’. Some people define themselves by being a mom/dad, or their traits like ‘the happy one of the group’. I think many people at Intel made themselves a persona as world-class leaders or engineers. The problem with personas are that people cling to them even when it becomes clear it’s killing them or destroying their happiness or relationships. Or even worse, these personas are all based on things that are temporary and very easily lost. Job titles and possessions can be stripped with the simple words, “You’re fired”.

I give Knoxville credit, he seems to have realized he created a persona that was destructive. It appears he, and others from Jackass, have worked hard for years now to get away from those personas.

The question is – can we see and walk away from our personas? Ask yourself: how do I define myself? Is it my job or company I work for? Is it being a spouse/mother/father? Is it the things we own? The skills we have (driver, climber, pilot, etc)? Could I lose those things and still know who I am?

I would challenge us all to really look at that. I did as it was becoming clear my time at Intel likely wasn’t going to last long. It gave me time to see exactly what parts of me were still clinging to that persona. What if I left my job or got fired? What happens when my children move away and have their own lives? What happens when my spouse passes away? Do I still know who I am?

For me, it was a fantastic invitation to go deeper into prayer and my connection with God. As things got rougher and rougher, I leaned more of my identity into who *He* told me I was, and I found myself less trapped by who *I* thought I was.

If you are struggling, I cannot urge you enough to turn to prayer in this time before Christmas. Not just haphazard prayer while driving or formulaic prayer; but pour out your heart and sit in prolonged silence with God. Go to a half hour of adoration. Spend some time this Advent listening. Let God tell you who you are. Troubles will always come – they did for Jesus. But when you know you’re following and living with God who intensely loves you, you do not get trapped by your personas. You instead get enveloped by the one that sees you as a intensely loved child by the creator of the universe.