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You’re not going to get everyone to agree on plans. When you need everyone to agree, the least agreeable person has all the power.

If you find yourself all through life managing other’s emotions, expectations, and making sure they are happy all the time – when is it your turn to be happy?

You are allowed to take up space. Don’t minimize yourself or what you want so much that you never get a say in what happens.

Procrastinator: “I do great in my group projects because I don’t want to let them down.” That’s good. Is it ok to let yourself down by not putting the same effort in for yourself?

Boundaries are for you, not for other people.

You can’t control others or tell them what to do. Instead of saying “You can’t do that” to tell others what they can/can’t do, you only control yourself so you say “If you do that, I will do X <leave/report you/etc>”

What would happen if you started treating yourself the way you would treat someone you love?

When real leadership is absent, the loudest complainer tends to get their way.

When someone in your life is trying to bully, change, or make your day a little more shitty, by asking emotionally loaded questions – put the emotional response requirement back on them. Manipulative question: “So, do you like have any friends?” Answer: “Does that worry you?”

Happiness is the persistent willingness to exert some level of effort, each day, toward helping yourself and others

If you don’t have these problems with any other person in your life, why do you think you’re the problematic person in this one relationship?

Your parents know how to push your buttons because they’re the ones who installed them. Your siblings fine tuned them.

Person X may well drink themselves into an early grave, and there’s not a single thing you can do about it.

The facts may not care about your feelings, but your feelings conversely don’t care about the facts.

“Your feelings are something you cannot change”. When I was drinking and drugging, I constantly was trying to find a way to change what I felt or keep what I felt going forever. If I was sad, I did drugs to change that. If I was happy, I did drugs to keep that feeling going. Now I feel things and I realize the easiest thing to do is accept that I feel that way, and try to gather information about why. Then I go change what I can/needs changing and let the rest go.

Just because you can’t control something doesn’t mean you have to carry the weight of it

Every emotion is not tied to your illness/condition, sometimes you are just sad

Task avoidance: “It’s either now, or not now”, insinuating that if its not now it will keep being “not now” until you make it be “now”. That helped me a lot with getting tasks done as I think of them rather than putting it off until I feel like doing it.

The reason why your mom is acting this way towards you is not because she thinks you’re incompetent or bad at everything you do: it’s because she is COMPETING with you.

Happiness is not a destination.

Compromise means meeting in the middle. If the other person doesn’t do their half of the work, stop doing that work for them.

Thoughts are just thoughts. You can welcome them in, and then show them the door. They’re not reality.

If you spoke to your friends the way you speak to yourself, would they stick around?

Love is given. When a relationship doesn’t work out it doesn’t mean you’re not worthy of being loved.

Keeping the peace on the outside should never be more important than keeping the peace in yourself

You don’t have to be perfect to be worthy of love and respect

Link:

• https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1gx0g96/whats_a_gamechanging_insight_your_therapist/