Outside of the mass, I have to say that going to confession is one of my favorite sacraments. Not that it’s always easy, but the sense of freedom and grace you get afterwards is unlike anything else. It’s also a wonderful way to bring our brokenness to Jesus and ask directly for grace to help.

But to have a good confession, one must take time to reflect on their life. There’s lots of ways of examining our conscience, but one must be careful of their limitations. Reflecting on the Ten Commandments is a classic way. We can also review our corporal works of mercy, doctrine on Catholic social teaching, and the Beatitudes.

But all these different ways might still miss something critical – the genuine desire and examination of what is keeping your relationship with Jesus stuck or divided.

These lists can lead someone into just legally reviewing and going through a rote list in confession (see the video below at 1:57). Now, we should be reflecting and making a list of any mortal sins we must name directly in kind and number. But if we’re not careful, this approach can focus us too much on a big list of largely minor sins. Again, there isn’t anything exactly wrong with this approach; but it might cause us to start seeing their relationship with God like that with an accountant or lawyer.

It might be preventing us from addressing the things that are truly blocking us from completely following Christ.

The Breaking In the Habit video above gives great advice. What if you put down the list and ask what is weighing on your heart the most right now? If Jesus were to return right now, what would get in the way of your following him completely? What is the hinderance in your relationship with Jesus right now?

I recently went to an unfamiliar church for confession, and instead of the usual pages of scripture based reflections; they had a simple one sheet page that was great. Instead of focusing on a legalistic review, it seemed more to ask yourself what is the thing that is keeping you from fully following Christ in your life right now.

Maybe give this list a chance for your next confession.

EXAMINATION OF CONSCIENCE
“Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest.” Mt. 11:28

1. The sin that hurts me the most
2. The sin that brings me most shame
3. The sin that I never confessed
4. The sin that I had forgotten about
5. The sin that never thought I would have done
6. The sin that is most frequent in me
7. The sin that I fall into most easily
8. The sin that refrains me the most in my faith
9. The sin that distances me from others
10. The sin that I have the hardest time regretting
11. The smallest sin, most insignificant (still affects)
12. The most frequent sin growing up
13. The gravest sin growing up
14. The consequences of sin in me today
15. The 3 main roots of my sins
16. The sin that I can’t control
17. That sin of mine that affects others (friends and family)
18. A sin that cools down my love for God
19. A sin already rooted in me
20. The sin that I feel is the worst in me